its gonna be a long entry. ignore it if u are other ppl viewing it. lols
cus is jus my feelings nth much!. so nth interesting to read abt. lols
hmm i dunknw why sudd i having these grey feelings, feeling moody, sad. . . is as though as a bottle full of emotions. is been long long time since i had this kind of weird feelings.

tt why i feel that is always so easy to get into a relationship, but when u are inside it, is SUPER hard to maintain it WELL, and those feelings that you might encounter is so so so unexplainable. is as though those feelings could control you so well that you have no interest in any other things. why being in a relationship sometimes is so complicating?

perhaps cus of the difference that i felt in this sem holiday compared to last sem holiday when we were first together. since we would meet almost every day, we can meet for doing anything, or jus meet doing nothing, jus relax together. and sometimes i would question myself, do guys really change after sometimes, from my good fren's side, is like is true. But i realise, guys do change from Veryveryvery committed to being lesser n lesser, and gals often become more passionate and grows more as days go. But is true, i agree, you can't expect his/her love for someone always the same/remain consistent thru out, we are human beings and not robots. but maybe is due to yr TKD upcoming ivp competition that made you so busy. and many of yr sudden events that made you busier than last time. and we meet less often than usual. Maybe is cus of the adaptation that i had, and if i dont meet u for sometime i feel lonley. perhaps. but i understand that there would be changes, life couldn't always be the same. i can't believe that i am sad over a non-living thing. Lols and sometimes such thinking have come across my mind like if i am in yr tkd team too, can train with u so n so. but tkd is just not me. Lols and of cus i wouldn't want you to go into the sparring ring going unprepared, and i understand that you would need to spend more time for training. so that u will become the best of the best. and get a gold for the IVP like wad u promised me you get for me when u said that to me during last sem recess wk. still remember? haha but from yr shoes i understand that there's many things u are responsible for, and i also do go out with my frens sometimes like wad you do too. but i dunknw why tt night i am super sad. and the watertap jus flowing non-stop, no matter how i try to close it, the watertap seem to be spoil. and it jus continue to flow like no other business. =( sometimes i jus hope that i would not be bothered by every single thing, maybe i would be happier. =)
do you knw sometimes i'm willing to forgo some gatherings or so on jus to meet you, or accomodate days that u are free n make it available first. hahaha.
i think i was being too emotional, but how can gers not being emotional at times. haha
soon tt late night, the bottle ful of emotions burst at last and i told u somehow. but i think after telling you, i did feel better. and i guess u would understand me better perhaps. sometimes a msg from you is to show that at least i am important to you, and you would want to tell me where u are so on n on. but diff ppl have diff thinking, so we have to adapt to each other's thinking. i hope after telling u some part of wad i feel, wont give u much pressure ok, cus tt's not wad my intention. jus be wad u are, cus tt's the person i love initially. but do not become a person less than wad you initially started off. haha u knw wad i mean ba.
and sometimes i guess i am a rather pessimistic person, and whenever i get into a serious relationship, i would be afraid that things might turn out the opp way. I would think for the worst sometimes, would afraid that sumone might back out.

因为太爱你
才会难过
因为难过
才会伤心
因为伤心
才会怕失去你！

But after msging you, felt much better.
and maybe i can better understand you from your angle
juz hope that we will still be like wad we used to be.
i understand that even though couples may meet everyday, it doesn't mean their relationship will get any better. i think is jus the mutual understanding and the special kind of feeling both of them have for each other.
though we have been together for only 7 mths.
i began to miss the times when you miss me if we din meet each other
the days that we meet everyday for anything
the days that you hold my hands every single time
the days that we stare at each other's eyes
the days that we kiss
it does not meant that we are not doing these, but perhaps less often. i guess
haha i think i am jus being emo for sometime.
so jus let me be.
but sometimes is jus so shen qi how love can be.
but still I love you monkey head dear =)